Sld i be happy or upset?

22o7o9

I'm at work . I'm actually feeling so moody regarding darling(RuoShan)'s stuff . Its really been long since she ever text me FIRST . Usually , she's always the first one to contact me . But recently, i'm always the first to text her and i always do txt her . And her replies will only come back like a few hours or a few days . I knew something's not right . She then told me , she actually knew a girl at play and she actually intend to go ahead with that girls . I'm not trying to be selfish but i know i am . She's always the one that i thought of whenever i'm upset or happy . I swear , she's always the one . I'll talk about anything under the sky.But i'm always not the first to know . I'm kind of upset over this for a few times . You said you didn't want me to see you when you're upset? then don't call me darling anymore . Am i not supposed to know if you're sad? that's not what a close friends should be.Its been so long , darling . Since i've been calling you darling. I'm sorry i didn't know how to appreciate you in the past . But now that i now , and i cherish every moment . I always ask her to come out but she forever not free . like once in a blue moon , she then will be free. I'm not trying to stop you being with her . You told me , everything will be the same afterall . Trust me , shan ! Nothing will be the same . How can someone accept that your girlfriend is close to another girl ? I can't , nobody can . I admit i'm selfish .

Maybe we should come out to talk about it ? I know there's actually nothing to talk about . You don't have to be answerable to me , you're not explainable to me . But i just felt so upset. I don't know why i'm so upset about . I should be happier then other that you actually got someone else, isn't it . But its not .

I need to think about it , why am i so upset . Maybe because you're always here but soon , you won't be there for me anymore? By then , we'll be drifting away . Further and Further . I told you before , i don't wish to stop in touch with you . But guess we have to do so . I suggest that we should not contact anymore . You asked me why . Because , no girlfriend will accept the fact the you're close to another girls. And untill then , then will i know we can't be as close anymore , all in a sudden how can i not be close to you ?
Girlfriend are everything under the world . because of this , we're going to be drifting apart ..

PS: Darling , i still love you as much . But i know it isn't the same anymore..
I hate to say this but "take care darling.."