MY EX

In life , we learn to grow up . It's normal to get into relationship .

Saying that three words to the one you loves.No matter how many there are in total.

As long as we tried out best in life .

Like what movies says " Why shouldn't i choose my happiness "

Went Ph with pz and dennis .

Mr D came and thanks , like i said i'm really happy to see you .

Kinda drama that day .

there's one bottle of martell  and cig .
FOC

Damn happy la , but he drove so can't drink too much . Haa..

For me , It pass my limit already . I knew it but i know i still can control that day .

Well , He wanted to WACK thru the day by going to play lan , movie and ktv.

I'm not tired, i'm just feel so uncomfortable so only manged to do the first thing .

And went home at about 10 . Slept till 2..

Came over to fetch me and went town to do his polishing for his car .

Went for Sakae . Then to movie at JP

* MY EX *

Scary ghost movie . sorry if the movie scares you .

Didn't know that you're scared =X

Haa..

Well , quite happening to me these days .

Devoting to someone yet getting hurt so badly.

Liking another person after that fell ..

I don't have to tell anyone how serious i am .

How badly hurt i am ..

How sad or how happy i am ..

I dont have to care what you guy want to say about me .

I have my choices .

And i respect my choices , so respect me .

Sometimes , i guess i can feel and sense something isn't right .

Maybe i just know what's happening or what is going to happen .

I don't have to say or ask ..

Because i don't want to .

Like what i said to him , i believes him ..

Even if he lies , i will still do .

I don't have to tell people how silly i am .

Or how stupid i am .

This is me ! HUITING .

I gave my best .

I can be unreasonable , i can be wildful , i can be stupid , i can be anything because this is who i am .

Sometime , i just knew it .

Keeping quiet can be good at times .

What's with telling everything ? So what ?

Maybe i like being alone ... when i'm down .

X , if you says i keep telling people that three words .

I don't see there;s anything wrong with it .

I gave my best !

Because i really do .

I'm writing all this not because i want to tell everyone anything .

Its because it's my dairy .

I don't wanna say out so i can only write it all out ..

(:

Like what i said ,

THIS IS ME !

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOAN (:

Hope u enjoy yourself last night and in the pool too !!! LOL

Was kinda CMI last night . haha .

Thanks for the bak kut teh xann ! (=

And your bed is is is so so so uncomfortable .

I still like soft bed ! haha ..

Am going to PH later , anyone joining ?!

MR D ?

Don't think you CAN go too .. Well , (:

See you soon ..

Idiot's night

Hello back ! Had a super good sleep last night .

Was feeling damn super uncomfortable too man and super fun !

Went out to meet Dennis and that stupid Peizhen to Bukit Batok .

To somewhere call Tophill to sing . It's a pub though.

But we didnt ordered beer or any liquor ..

I didn't know after drinking honey lemon and coke will end up like this =D . Haa ..

No mood for singing actually . Haa.

Then to Mac for supper . Then walked home .. From that tophill to BukitCombak near the school then took cab .

Talked about haunted thing on the way back !

Freak out althought it's not really that scary . It's your mind that makes you think of all that !

haha .

well ,i really really had fun !

Anyway  , happy birthday Joan !

Wanted so much to ask you about your stuff , but maybe not now . Wait till i have the courage to do so ..

Well , realise i have been living for other but not myself .

How to live for myself , when i have no dreams at all .

Dreams? Find a super good guy and marrys off ! haa . Just for laugh .

Have a good day (:

ph

ITS' THE GIRLIES AFFAIR , AGAIN !

wow , wow . hmmmm .

Great night i gave my friends  ! Haa .

Firstly , sorry and thanks ! =X

LOL . Damn funny night i have yesterday , damn cute lar ~

Oh , well what happen yesterday ....

Met peizhen and zhengyang to Ph . Took train together

take photo together , have fun together , only the 3 of us for the one hour ! haa .

Got freak out when we reach at 11plus . Like a ghost town man !

Free and easy !

Start queueing for drinks , was like damn low when he say he maybe coming only.

Got a feeling he isnt in camp already So texted him ..

and then he replied : Yes , i'm not in camp already but otw to ph .

I was like , flying in the air man . Damn happy like a fucker.

Ordered 8 Vodka shots , 2 vodka lime and 2 vodka canberry .

Went to dave table , played games with them , mix and drink diff alcohol .

The games starting man !

I said i wanted to hit the roof tonight , alright I DID man !

Actually i don't really remember what really happens .

I just know , i'm like walking here and there , talked rubbish .

Dance floor? I did step inside , i guess ! LOL

For how long i don't know , don't even remember what song it's playing . lol

Another Vodka shots down the throat .

Was like , wow ....

I tried controlling myself already but , i feels dead la .

Went up cab with him and his friends , which i don't remember at all !

Vomited a few times . Well , in the cab too he said.  o.O

I don't know what i have said last night but , i hope it's not something bad ! LOL

Well , the topic gonna be YOU anyway ! Haa .

Now then i know , i said so many thing . Done so many thing ! haha .

Well , sorry to trouble you . But thanks ! (:

Haa , i love the way you hold me all the while .

I'm really really happy i swear .

Although i'm not okay , but i feel weird when i step into your room .

Hmmm , the photos and stuff .

But i'm glad you were with me the whole day , should say ,

i'm thankful , really i am .

Iloveyou .

sorry but , i really like this photo .

\=D

It's not important how a story starts but how a stories end ..

Actually , i haven't even started a war . I haven't even  fight .

I'm just stealing your time as much as i can ..

bad romance

IT'S HER BIRTHDAY TOMORROW  .

So , What's with telling me ?

Telling me , how you will make her happy and stuff ?

Should i be telling you , how upset am i ?

Or just tell you , to enjoy yourself and make her smiles?
Tonight , i will enjoy myself ..

i will make sure , i enjoys.

Words stuck inside my brain .

Everytime whn im about to get over those sadness ,

you never fail to make me tear again .

That's all for today ..

It's getting nowhere ,

and i wanna be drunk  and hit the roof !

This is how bad i feels , NOW  !

If tmr never comes

It's the end of Jan . Time flies .

Well, It's new year soon but i don't seems to feel the mood o.O

He came over to fetch me over yesterday morning at 9plus .

Bet he 'll oversleep , and he did .

But that's alright (: Since he gonna come anyway .

Slept till afrternoon 4pm .Heavy sleeper man . LOL .

So , went for lunch ? at IMM .

Then home . Made dinner  .

Then meet him at night again .

Met Eric Teng at 12.30? Went to Changi Beach Park .

Long journey on the freaking bike. Haa.

Feels numb on my hand , ugh ~

Feels cold at the beach , ugh ~

Good recommendation Eric . LOL

It's raining and its si cold , can't even go off man .

Have to wait and wait ans wait .....

Untill the rains gets lighter .

So freaking cold otw too man !

But anyway , thanks .

Beach .... Peaceful , calm .

A where where i feels quiet, it's really quiet there.

Feels really really cool when the wind blow onto your face.

First time i felt nothing on my mind .

I wanna go there again ,with you !

Love is part and parces of life .

It's either you take it or you leave it .

It's the time when we learn to grow up and take thing seriously .

Motivation is the thing thats getting me going .

Asked me , what i'm gonna do today ?

I'll spent the rest of today to think of you .

Because i'm afraid i'll never be able to do so anymore ..

If times could stop , and you could stays ..

Tell that someone , i'm missing him ..

I WANNA GO TO THE PLACE WHERE I COULD HOLD YOUR HAND FOR THE WHOLE NIGHT WITHOUT LETTING GO .

SO I HOPE WE COULD BE THERE TONIGHT !

It's complicated

Hope your okay with my cooking ! You should anyway ! Haa .

Hmmm , went for movie at JP after Slacking for like so long at downstair.

♥ It's Complicated ♥

Yeah ~ It is . Haa

2 hours movie . Damn nice la ! Nice touching movie . Like as if i'm inside the movie =.=

Had alot of feelings while i'm watching. Undescribable feeling..

But that's fine (:

Feels like going to somewhere , anyway where we can be alone ..

Don't overslept later alright!

see you later at 8 (:

How can i not be happy , don't think too much ..

For a better day

I'm in a better mood today .

Stomach seems painful , ugh !

Have to eat , have to be happy , so i can prepared for the war !

(=

To whoever is concern : I don't think you have to be angry about all this . If you don't even bother about the person , what for you wanna be angry abt . And , we're purely friend ! (:(:

Last Eps of Hi , My sweetheart . Gonna watch it later ~

Trust me , i can be a good listening , i can be a good friends.
Life should be extra simple isn't it . Why make everything so so complicated then?
Get the fuck of it man .

Ladies night ?!?!?!



Anyway , Thanks DENNIS ANG for your accompany ! Hope you enjoy ur supper last night !
You didn't sms me when you reached home , i thot u 're dead !! lol


AND FUCK IT OFF WITH THE CRAZY IRRITATING HORNY BUTCH ! U DUN HAVE TO CARE HOW MANY PPL I LOVED . AT LEAST I 'M NOT YOU . AND ITS NOT YOU !

Because ,

I love looking at the sky at this hours.

Calm and clear. At least it makes me feel peaceful afterall.

Didn't managed to go westcoast last night.

Because he came ,

brought to me top of the carpark and told me

" This is west coast .."

I know you just wanna make me smiles.

From the moment i saw you until the moment that you left ,

i never stop smiling .

Am really happy that you actually came . Who cares whatever resons you gave

but anyway , i just wanna say thanks .

Knew you were angry when i hold a bottle of liquor but , let me be .

because i'm fine

Because you care , that's why you're here  last night .

Time passed super fast with you man .

You looked super cute in the photos last night .

I onced thought to myself ..

" A photo of you and me, hang it in a frame in my rooom .. "

I feel alot better when i held your hand and looking into your eye.

It's the feeling that i want whenever i meet you .

Don't tell me anything that i don't wanna hear.

Just kiss me on the forehead and tell me that you love me .

Love , not lovedd .

(:

I promised myself nevr to cry infront of him anymore.

Maybe this will make him feels better ..

I guess .

I followed my feeling so why i won't even bothers what people says .

Even if it gets me nowhere .

Just purely because...

It's HIM .


An early goodnight to you and your gf.
= Night sweetie =

I just know my heart break!

And it really breaks

Tell me the meaning of happy w/o him here.

It's your time i'm chasing after

I DON'T WHAT I'M THINKING .
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANNA SAY.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANNA WRITE .

BUT I JUST FEELS LIKE WRITING DOWN EVERYTHING I'M THINKING .

I really don't know what the hell im i'm writing in this post today !
F myself !
ITS IN A MESS !!

Went out with kelvin last night to henderson wave to talk. Went to see the dog . LOL . not cute at all . Haa =X . Cheer kel . Do your best . Together we will (: For that someone .

Then Des and Sylvia came to fetch me . Took a scoll at there and to yishun to fetch his friend .
Then to Yishun Dam . Talk cock . Drink and play (:

Been long since i ate so abit headache and giddy . So played THEN .. I drop into the drain . like omg la! LOL . Vomitted all over too . I'm missing him till then ..

Feels sad . Like alright i shouldn't .

Thanks des and sylvia , Thanks bro !

You 2 are the best man.

Met him this morning at 10am . So he said he got time untill about late afternoon .So , took his car and went for movie * Daybreakers * at Yishun . didn't know yishun changed so much .

Thanks for your time (:

And don't worry , i just ate something already .

The feeling sucks on the way home .

I've stored evrything about you inside untill the next time i see you again .

Your smell , Your touches and the way you look into my eye .

The journey seems shorter then ever .

Tears aren't supposed to drop . Tried rreally hard not to let him know how i feels .

It's better to let him know , "i'm fine ... "

But i'm not ..

How i wish there's more traffic light , so i could have that few more second holding on to his hands.

Feels like getting out of here . To a place where there is no familair faces .

A place with beaches , sand and wind.

Somewhere where i could hide in .

Somewhere where no one cares , no telephone to call ..

To a place called " Peace .. " with you

Noted that ''Love you " . Because i feel you this time round .

I don't deny i'm upset . I admit that i'm holding on to the tears .

" when your tears dropping , look right up in the sky.."

Don't look at me when i'm upset because i don't want you to feel bad .

Don't say sorry to me , because you don've to (:

You owe me a promise but i don't want anything , just promise me you'll stay happy .

Be it today or in the future..

PS: Sometimes being quiet does helps .

But I hate the feeling when i feel so bad and i couldn't cry at all

Because i'm suffering inside.

I'm not crying but it's bleeding

So much to ask but i prefer this way.

Memories is the thing that i'm collecting .It's the only thing that belong to the both of us .

I've so much to say but all i could do was to tell you , i'm alright.

The way you look at me today don't seems right .

A kind of feeling which i don't know how to explain

AND FUCK IT WITH THE SLIPPER LOL(:

" It's a war against myself , i must go on ..."

If i could hug you once more

So many thoughts , but i feels blank in my mind .

All i could remember was , everything was so perfect untill you told me that.

All i could remember was ..

The Piglet on the bed .

The Piglet on the bed .

The Piglet on the bed .

The Piglet on the bed .

The Piglet on the bed .

The Piglet on the bed .

The Piglet on the bed .

.........

Because you cared (:

Bacause you're a nice guy .

Not sleeping . Not eating .

Not trying to act cute or be funny .(:

No appetite to do so.
Eye swollen =(

If i could make you smile again ,  won't mind being a clown.

If i could make you speak louder , i don't mind talking for one hour.

If i could make you don't feel bad , i'll do anything .

If  ....

No more IF ...

I love the way when i'm drunk , so that i could have more courage to say what i want to .

Remember to smile, yes you! (;

Ps: Xann , you'll be fine (= . don 't worry

For you

Just came back with tears flowing down the cheek . Looking back , i see you nowhere anymore .

Tell me , you love this song can you so i could remember one more thing of you dave.

It's a dream .

A sweet dream with a sad ending .

Be nice to your girlfriend is something that i can't let my lip tells you .

Because it hurts like crazy .

if clock could turns back,i'll still not  regret evything that we did together .

Just one night , to tell how much u meant to that someone .

Now i know , loving someone who is attach feels this way.. Painful yet wanting so much to be with you .. I don't wanna spoilt the relationship between you two .And i won't . So dont feels bad .

How silly with that lil stone . Just one lil stone , with too much memories .

How to store everything in .But yet , don't even wanna delect it away ..

" when you look outside your house , if you saw a flock of birds flying around with no sense of direction , it means it's going to rain .." I''ll remember this (':

If i could do anything to make you feels better , i'll do.

You're thr first one after that wl .

How fast this dream ended.

=( I wanna go back to bed again and continue to dream ..

Thanks for telling me the truth .

Remember , if you sees the shooting stars , tell em i miss the night at west coast ..

Well , i'm fine . Because i guess i should be .

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kenny Roger - she believes in me



While she lays sleeping, I stay out late at night and play my songs

And sometimes all the night can be so long
And it's good when I finally make it home, all alone
While she lays dreaming, I try to get undressed without the light
And quietly she says how was your night?
And I come to her and say, it was all right, and I hold her tight


And she believes in me, I'll never know just what she sees in me
I told her someday if she was my girl, I could change the world
With my little songs, I was wrong


But she has faith in me, and so I go on trying faithfully
And who knows maybe on some special night, if my song is right
I will find a way, find a way...

While she lays waiting, I stumble to the kitchen for a bite
Then I see my old guitar in the night
Just waiting for me like a secret friend, and there's no end
While she lays crying, I fumble with a melody or two
And I'm torn between the things that I should do
And she says to wake her up when I am through,


God her love is true...


And she believes in me, I'll never know just what she sees in me
I told her someday if she was my girl, I could change the world
With my little songs, I was wrong


But she has faith in me, and so I go on trying faithfully
And who knows maybe on some special night, if my song is right
I will find a way, while she lays... while she waits for me!

is in love

Just came home..

Went PH with all the friend again . Met him to took the train and off to enjoy the night (:

Quite drama last night. Hmmm . not too nice to write it down here ..

Anyway , i love the way i am last night.

If something / someone can draw me nearer , it gonna be YOU . Sweet (:

Look me in to my eye again and i swear i 'll melt .

Ilike you . (:

It's time to move on  from wl . no point waiting this way  anymore .

He don't even cares what's going on anyway ..

Imiss you

Went out at 8pm last night. Came to fetch me over .

Hmmm . Asked me if i'm bored , i'm not . (: don't have to worry about it .

Gladly do so .

After that to dinner .

Then .. Off to talk cock again .

Had a good night (:

Sorry made you can't sleep again ! Haa .

PS : I felt good with you .

Found this cute lil thing . hhaa

=X =X =X

Anyway i ordered Mac and asked for more lectuce and ya ..

this is too much man ..

Isn't it ABIT too much ?!

wo yuan yi

Went lil cousin house yesterday and ahma cook noodle . Haa .

At nighht went to meet , er , my friend..

Went ROUNDING man . Haa

Went Bt Timah Mac to slack and wai for the traffic to fasten up .

Drank some lemon tea , talk cock !

Then to Holland village to eat and watch "Together" on channel 8 at 9pm . It's the last eps anyway .

then went off at 10pm to , West coast mac for toilet then to west coast to slack , then talk about anything under the sky ! LOL .

And found a wife for that idiot . LOL .

A stone !

=.=

haha . lame shit .

Then went Birdpark .. Then to jurong area then to town wanted to go to Emax . But =X unfortunately , closed !
LOL.

Then to Kranji Dam and talk about Ghost =.=

Then off to home about 4.30pm

Thanks for the night out .. =) had fun with you !! haha

what to do today? Bored ~~

Hmmmm , it's time to let go isnt it ? It's time to move on maybe ..

Sad songs made me sad =)

spy n xt door

Fucking hell waited for 25mins for this ! They didn't even  fucking take our order . Fuck pepper lunch ! LOL..Then to movie * SPY NEXT DOOR *

Nice movie (= cute girl ! haa

Then Mj at my home with allen , tea and agnes untill 5am . haha ..Nice chatting with u guys (:

Love u muack muack ! =X haahah

No more topic about him (:

Trying ~ lol

joy? sad ?

15012010

Its a friday night . Went doctor just now with allen's accompany .

Actually i can cope alone with this . Weather its a joyness or sadness, i can cope alone ..

Even without wl , i guess .

Result - Negative.

Doctor say come back for a check up in another 2 week

I don't know why the anxiousness too . Why the upset too .

I'm not even afraid to let anyone know about this . Not even dad and mum ..

Ask me why ? The answer's deep inside my heart ..

Is this the only way to communicate with you ?

Is that the only topic with you? It doesn't matter what the result will be .

For this , why don't you give me more concern.

Perhap i'm really stubborn , stupid and silly ..

when it comes to you ..

It needs more then courage to text you .

Need alot more when i look you into your eye .

Need more then what i can give , to look into your heart .

PS: I can feel it coming .Tell me , am i supposed to feel happy or upset .

If menses comes , telling myself it's a full stop between me and him .

Maybe only myself .. 

Well , At least i felt the feeling of it (':

Chapter closing , soon

自爱

He asked me to find out the meaning of this :(

自爱

自爱[zì'ài] - 自己爱惜自己(主要指名誉)

倍加自爱。 懂得自爱，学会自尊

1. regard for oneself; self-respect

=.= zZzzzZ

 Of cause i know the meaning but going out with friend doesn't mean i don't respect myself .

Hmmm , Sorry for that day that i called you.

Was rather drunk . Hais .

Upset .

I feels that you actually cares , but do you?

<3

Forget to thanks XANN for bringing me to her home on sat ! lol .

haa . thanks . sorry for all the bites given , haa ..

have you watch the treasure hunter?

Hmmm, anyway that day when meeting toktok , i almost took the wrong car man .

Cause he say he with biker and car ma . so when i came out of jes house then i saw a car and the guys was like staring at me , so i thou is him .. So i went ahead and just smile " So where am i supposed to sit then he start at me again .. "huh .. " He replied .

"where is ahtok .. ? " He gave me that look again and say , " i think u spoke to the wrong person "

alright , i know im blushing . Damn Ps man ! omg , i was like , oh okay , sorry ..

then his friend ask what happen , he said " oh , no la . Got one Cai talking to me " Then he look at me and say , "next time don't any how talk to guy okay " =S

Haa . the whole story is , i'm pretty !! haa . =X lol..

Just for laugh !

Heading to lot one to meet Clement .

♥

Monday

Just done watching with * Hi My Sweetheart *  ♥

so freaking nice okay !

Tears drop man !

Its Damnit touching , if u watched it too,

anyway , eps 11 is out .

Can't wait for eps 12 !

Went PH on sat , saw toktok and that damn jiewei .

Was kind of drunk that day , drunk too much at jw's table .

Miss him mah ! haa ♥

Hmmm ..

Wednesday ? ZHEN?

(=

Uhg , where to go on V's day ?

No Valentine too ..

Ciaoz ♥

(:

Went pprecious house yesterday.

shopping , talking , playing with FB.

Haa.

Met Toktok and friend , was planning to go to ECP.

Kok Ping Team got a race , heard them say .

So i say okay , then called wl.

So went to woodlane

Then off to ECP with wl .

Load of bike , load of people ,, load of police too !

Anyyway , got home at about 7 am .

He came over at abt 11am .

He asked me to Element later , i hope to go but ...

Abit of problem .

PS : (: What will the result be ? If you ask me , i wanna have his baby . It's not

because i wanna keep him by my side but because , its his baby..

Off to PH later !

JESLIN!!! My make up pouch!

(=

It's a Girlies Affair

Ladies night with pz , Desmond and his firend sylvia.Fetch us with his one day old car .

Alright. interesteing ride ! Reached Ph in about one hours , not too bad LOL.

Find out way out like an idiot . Haa. Drank Martell and talk cock in the car .

Was kinda high , so dance all night ! (=

Love dancing .

Went Dimsum and 216 at Geylang , nice supper too ! Haahaa .

Had a hard time handling the girls man , right guys , haa !

And that Fucker pz , drunk like hell =.=\

like stupid . LOL !

Nice day.

menses not here yet man !

I know im  good in taking photos ! haa . Fake tip (=

PS: It's been long since i heard you . It seems so long since i last felt your warmth .

What if i say , i need you here now ..

Baby , you never left since that day i'm not your Girl ..