FML

It's been like some times since that day he left . Depressing still .. I'm like fucking ruining my life upside down . Enjoying and suffering . I'll answer myself cause it's my life i'm playing with . But everything , everything gonna stop at this moment . I can't go on like this anymore . Whatever it is , everything have to end by today . This isn't the way to handle my body and life .. I don't what the hell is happening to me . I mean , i wish i still had my senses . I kind of hate myself to the core . No-one have to ask anything . Because i only have myself to answer to . I felt a total mess , like WTF . When i look myself in the mirror , i wish i were still the one 3 months back . But i know i'm not anymore . What done is done .

Damnit god ! I can't get to sleep . And i'm feeling kind of " I hate myself ! " . I just wanna be back to the one i am , craving for different food everyday . Sleep like nobody business . But the appetite isn't here anymore . Everything i see , i just feels like vomiting . I have to fucking get out of this shity life . This whole period is like a fucking shit thingy . What the hell am i actually doing all these while , suddenly forget the meaning of human .

After today , i realise how much it is to actually loved someone this much. It's like , althought it's over but , afterall your mind , your soul and your body still belongs to him . Its just sucks when the one holding on to you , touching you isn't the one that's in your heart . you'll just feel like crying whenever it isn't him that's beside you . Imagine when you opened your eye , the one isn't him . It's hard to imagine and it's hard to accept the facts too .
I need to really wake up and get away from all the stupid things that i've done all this moment . And yes , i regreted it ! Alright i'm being too naggy i guess . CAuse i feel it too .

PS: What 's done cannot be undone , one step wrong and it'll cost your whole life . Regrets and Guiltys are the worst thing you have to bring on for your whole freaking life .
God knows how bad i feels .. But i deserved it . No matter how hard it is , i have to bring all these things that i've done for the rest of my life .There's no-one to blamed but ourselves .
Please let me have a good sleep and make me forget every single thing , please !